About me.. Anne… Of Centurian Mastini, (Sanctuary?)…. yes.. Sanctuary.

Hi,
My name is Anne. I am an ED nurse, have been for half my life. I grew up in Michigan, was born in Detroit. I lived all over the state, and married at age 18, had 3 children, with my high school love, Bob… We divorced, very sadly… after 7 years. I remarried quickly, due to fear of being alone, to an alcoholic, drug abuser, named Darrell H___. Big yuck. And an ass. A nasty ass. Disgusting, drunk, drug using ass!! And I was certainly an ass. But, ya live and learn. I certainly did. But… not for a long time. But, you see, it has happened, and yes, I now am the proud owner of a backbone!!!

Had my dream job as an emergency dept nurse, for 19 yrs, (except for a little break at an insurance company!), at Henry Ford Hospital; a level one trauma center in Detroit. Loved every minute. Learned so much. Worked with such incredible people. My supervisor, Joyce, was the bomb!!!! I miss her so much. There has never been, nor will ever be another boss like Joyce. Never.

Dr Manny Rivers… My hero. I tell everyone that will listen that. The smartest man I ever met… I wish I could work with this man every day that I go to work. Anyone who ever has the opportunity to listen and learn from Manny Rivers…. do it!!! You are going to be so happy… and incredibly touched, by the humility and simplicity of this man who is so talented, and such a gift to the people of Detroit, and me.. Thank you, Dr Rivers.

Skip to now…. After a nine year relationship, with a very abusive co-worker, a physician assistant, with initials DD… This relationship was the worst I had EVER had… Oh, and he thought he was the best thing for me since sliced bread, even AFTER he beat me up one day at work, in an office….. (I caused him to be angry, as I was told after he discussed his behavior with a psychiatric social worker!)? I decided to call relationships for me…. Quits… I mean, NO MORE!!! None. Finito!! Had NEVER had a successful relationship. My husband fooled around… Oh, but he LOVED ME!!! And Darrell, the loser 2nd husband.. Well, he used to use crazy glue to put his front tooth back into his face. I am not lying. It was knocked out in a bar fight, and so… he had a fake tooth. It would come out, and he would glue it back in… Yes… very tasteful. And what a winner!!! I’ll tell ya. One night, he drained all our bank accounts, announced he was divorcing me, and locked himself in our house, with MY three children. Yes, very nice… And then, there was this WONDERFUL GUY!!! Who liked to think he was a musician… (right.) That’s the pa’c.. another of the goddess’s gift to women.

But….. the bottom line, here, is that all of this was MINE. I caused all this. All this bullshit personal crap, simply… by allowing it. I had no backbone. I had no self esteem. None. This was probably due to a sexual assault, at age 17.

But, my spine grew back, oh yes… it took several decades, but… it’s back!!! Oh, it has a little arthritis… but……… it’s here.

And…. as discussed in my first blog entry, I purchased a neo pup from Maximum Mastiffs, in Clio, MI.Bonofacio… my baby, my first ever real show dog!!! And he was beautiful….

He dropped dead at one yr of age. My breeder has treated me very badly, since, but, I digress… As a fellow neo owner has stated, and she is right, enuf. But.. the BS continues. But… my spine… my backbone…

I decided to buy a neo female puppy, (this was after obtaining my beauty, Click! from Nikki Stamper), from an ethical breeder. And.. Bill and Anita Goetz were well known and respected, as a matter of fact, had been voted as club AMBASSADORS!!!.. by the USNMC (national club), and purchased Centurian Mastini Zingara. Zee. My girl….

Met for the 2nd time, Mr William Goetz. I had ran into Bill at a show in Grand Rapids the previous November, where Bono’s breeder had recommended I go and bring Bono!! And…. she did not show up!!!!! But, this is typical… which others will find out. Many have. He had given me a card, for he and Anita’s kennel, and told me if I ever needed anything, (and added, he was NOT trying to sell me a puppy, nor take me away from my breeder!)

Move ahead… to a different topic, this was not my life, but… is pertinent.
Bill and Anita were going thru a divorce, and it was very nasty. I became friends, no, not quite true, we very quickly fell for each other. Bill had been treated like crap for years by his wife. Yes, he played his part, but… he was abused by his wife. Yes, really. This is MY BLOG, and I will tell the story HOW I SEE IT, AND I SEE IT VERY CLEARLY, AND DID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!!! Yes, I did meet Anita with Bill when I came to the home to pick out a puppy. We did not know each other, then. Anita was very abusive in her speaking manner to Bill, who was very courteous and kind, to her. It only took once, for me to become very aware of who was who in this marriage. Bill deferred to her, because if he didn’t, she was very verbally abusive, and yes. I did see this. Actually, it was kinda embarrassing to witness, you know, when you are in the presence of someone else, and they are fighting… You know, how you are so uncomfortable, and don’t know what to say… It was obvious Bill was embarrassed by her behavior, and just kept agreeing with her, and deferring to her….

I am an er nurse. Again, I worked in an inner city hospital for 19 years, and I excelled there. I am a good nurse. I am very observant. I observed very quickly the behaviors of both. And came to a swift conclusion. You see, this is what er nursed do, they observe, even out of their peripheral vision, and I do that very well!!! I observed this couple in action.

It was very easy to fall in love with this wonderful, kind man, who loved mastini, as much as I do. Probably for much the same reasons, because he finds refuge in his canine companions, due to the pain inflicted…. (and HE allowed it all!! So……. yes, he also is responsible for allowing others to treat him, thusly.) by humans.

We have been together since we traveled to Atlanta in 2008, in September. We love each other… deeply. And care about each other. And understand each other. We don’t take aim at our loved ones, especially, our chosen life partner. There is too much of that, isn’t there??? Isn’t there too much pain in the world??? And.. I have to wonder why there are so many fascinated by our little life, here in the boonies??? I often wonder why people seem to want to hurt they chose to spend the rest of their life with so viciously? And can be so kind to others… It happens all the time. I hate it. There are times that I see a previous life in my lover’s eyes, and I hurt for him. There was so much pain. And no reason for it. And sometimes, we…. as humans, do things when we are hurting….. that are so out of character, as to be opposite of who you really are, just to try to stop the pain. Even for just a few minutes.. And….. sometimes, unfortunately, instead of making good decisions, being human, even the best person in the world, makes a bad decision. And that decision may change that person, may make others look down at them… And they are unable to see, that possibly, this was the only action this person could see to make…. to continue to survive.

Not making excuses. Wrong is wrong… But, one can be driven to do things you hate yourself for, later. I know I have been. Anyone and everyone has. And…. anything that doesn’t kill you, just makes you stronger. And…. I am the luckiest woman in the world, to have Bill Goetz, as my husband. To be loved with all of someone’s heart. All of it.. Unconditionally. Not wanting to change you, loving you for who you are, all of it. All the good and not so good. The temper tantrums, tangent going offs… being addicted to a computer screen, etc…. I am loved. And the life led previously, by both of us, has made us who we are today, and we just like being together. With our dogs. And not all that many friends…

Bill tells me of a couple that were best friends of he and his ex-wife’s. Apparently, (and yes, as discussed, witnessed these behaviors, as have hundreds, maybe thousands!), anyways, sorry for that tangent…

This foursome would go out to dinner very frequently, 2 or 3 times a week. And there would be loud interchanges, insults, etc… directed at Bill. (this was his life for 30 yrs!). And… the other couple LOVED it. They ate it up… They would laugh, etc… and….. what??? Why???Why in the world would adults get off on another adult’s pain, FRIENDS? I say, not! And apparently, emotionally very ill people. People whose own marriage is so miserable, that they love witnessing another marriage fall apart. Get a divorce, for god’s sake! Get a life! Be nice to SOMEONE!!!! Maybe your husband, or your wife? Stay out of other people’s lives. Please. PLEASE!

Go kiss a puppy!!! I’m going to… My Bamm Bamm is such a good girl!! And so smart.

We are creating our own little santuary, our own refuge, away from all the pain and bullshit that Bill’s previous family had to dish out. And still do!!! His children haven’t spoken to him. His daughter attacks him online. He has 2 grandchildren he hasn’t seen. Why? Who knows. Because this family loves to create discord, and not peace. They create hate, and not love. They sow disrespect, with their petty, untrue claims, and then want everything in return. I don’t know what the future holds for these disturbed individuals, but I know one thing. One of these family members is a police officer, and carries a gun. It is a little disturbing, especially when I read some of the writings by this individual that were left in this house. Frightening, actually.

Anyways, I love an incredible man, who I was NOT looking for. I had been single for well over 10 years, and was very content, with my dogs, my old farmhouse, my little job at a community hospital, and then, came MY man. We are very happy. Yes, we love each other, and always will. We respect each other, and our unique personalities. We love the mastini, and will continue to work to improve it, even though the outgoing usnmc BOD has continued with their ongoing line of crap. Which they may find themselves in a court of law, being held responsible for. But… there is a new Prez in town, and…. there is hope in the neo world. Bright blessings to all who have good in their hearts. And I do still hold out hope to those who don’t. May you find peace in your heart. May you see good in action, and decide that is the path you want to follow. May those of you who spout words of love and Christianity, but… don’t actually practice what you preach, deacons of the word….. find truth, hope, love, charity, and compassion. Until then….

Anne of Centurian Sanctuary(Mastini)

PS.. Yes, I do see the stats of this blog of mine… and I do see that there are people on here everyday… and I’m sure that this blog is discussed widely by my dissenters. That is ok, have a ball!!! And try, if possible, to go live your own life. You see, we ARE living ours. And loving it. And creating our own sanctuary.

PEACE OUT!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!